How To Handle The Holidays If You’re Newly Sober

If you’re newly sober, there are times when it is difficult to remain so – especially during the holidays. We understand. You are surrounded by friends and family partying or just enjoying a few drinks with dinner or during festivities. It is also a stressful time of the year which can lead to setbacks as well. While it may be hard, here is how to handle the holidays if you’re newly sober.

The Holidays Are Stressful

Being newly sober may be stressful for you. Compound that with the holidays and it may be a potential powder keg. According to Alone Health:

It’s a widespread problem. Nearly a quarter of Americans reported feeling “extreme stress” come holiday time, according to a poll by the American Psychological Association. Holiday stress statistics show that up to 69 percent of people are stressed by the feeling of having a “lack of time,” 69 percent are stressed by perceiving a “lack of money,” and 51 percent are stressed out about the “pressure to give or get gifts.”

The entire holiday season of stress doesn’t just include Thanksgiving and Christmas. As far out as Valentine’s Day adds difficulties. There are quite a few reasons for the added stress.

• Lack of money
• Being without family or lonely
• Deadlines
• Shopping decisions
• Emergencies
• Strained family relationships
• Personal losses
• Seeing people happy when you’re not

That’s just a sample of what triggers are possible during the holidays. Perhaps you are happy you are sober but still miss it, especially during holidays when everyone else seems to be enjoying themselves. Maybe you even think it’s not fair that they can have a drink or use drugs when you can’t. That is certainly understandable but don’t let it blur your vision on your own sobriety.

How To Handle The Holidays As a Newly Sober Person

There are a few things that you can do that help you handle the holidays easier – especially as a newly sober person. Everyone is different and some of these may work better than others, but trying them may really aid in keeping you from breaching your sobriety.

Make a Game Plan

Planning ahead is good for just about anything but especially in this situation. Start by practicing tell others no to drinks or substances. You don’t even have to tell them you are newly sober or in recovery if you don’t feel comfortable doing so. Instead, just give a polite but first “no thank you” to the person offering. You have no need to explain yourself. If your friends or family already know that you are in recovery, they shouldn’t even be offering. Yet, sometimes well-meaning people will do so anyway. Or there is always the chance that even at a family get-together than someone will forget or not know.

You wouldn’t (usually) go on a vacation or trip without planning. The same applies to your sobriety. There are always going to be situations where you may find temptation, especially during holidays. Yet by planning, you can feel more comfortable saying no and staying away from things that threaten remaining drug-free or alcohol-free.

One way to get a head start on your game plan is to arrive a little early, hang out for about an hour, then leave early. This allows you time to get away from the temptation before things get more wild.

And don’t forget to focus on your sobriety each day as you wake up. As part of making your game plan, you should wake up and think about how to stay sober for the day. Take it one day at a time and focus some on the smaller goals. For example, if you know that you’ll be invited to an open bar and you’re an alcoholic, turning down the offer is one step closer to your goal of constant sobriety.

Stay Busy

There are two areas where staying busy help you remain sober. One area is at parties or events. If you’re at a party or event and you’re not busy doing something else, you may find that you are more likely to take a drink or illegal drug. Join in some of the festivities. If there is dancing or games, try to participate. If it is a party where people are just socializing, find ways to talk to someone new or offer to help in the kitchen. Even stepping outside away from it all may help you get your bearings and be less tempted.

One way to say no at parties is to bring your own drink and we mean a non-alcoholic kind. It’s not up to the host or hostess to know your needs and besides, having empty hands is a good opportunity for people to offer. Make a drink for yourself and get as fancy as you like. Carry that around with you so you’re still part of the party but you’re not in danger of taking someone else’s drink. And while we’re at it, unless it’s family you always want to be careful of taking drinks from strangers anyway.

Another reason having your own drink is a good idea is that if others see you drinking already, whether it’s an alcohol drink or not, they are less likely to offer you one. In their eyes, you’re all set and don’t need anything.

If it’s while you are home, we realize that this is the place you might feel lonely or sad and want to imbibe. This is the perfect place to keep yourself occupied so you are not focusing on bad thoughts or being sad. Find a television show to binge, play an online game, watch a movie, spend time with your pet,

According to an article on Bustle, a non-profit called Shatterproof offered this advice:

Another thing Fletcher suggests is keeping your hands busy. This can mean offering to help in the kitchen, playing a board game, reading tarot cards, or enjoying your own mocktail. Additionally, Shatterproof notes that taking the focus off of yourself can help make things a little easier.

Keep in mind that the holidays are the perfect time to do volunteer work. Whether it’s handing out food at a soup kitchen during Thanksgiving or spending time with nursing home patients, do something that helps others and also helps yourself.